There is now an online dating site for Singles living on Vancouver Island. vancouverislandsingles.ca Great name! 
I am not a huge fan of online dating sites, as I have heard many many horror stories coming from them! However, there are also many success stories, and lots of attention in the media on them as they battle it out for new members. Seems like online dating is here to stay.
That being said, I am happy that there is now a site dedicated to Vancouver Island. It gives residents of our beautifull island another option when it comes to meeting someone. I hear they will be hosting a variety of events all over the island, so stay tuned for those or go to their site www.vancouverislandsingles.ca and look at the events page. We definitley could use some more fun stuff going on!
If you decide to post a profile online, here are some tips to make the most of it and not waste your time:
- If they can’t send you a photo, don’t meet them. They are probably just seeing who’s out there and not that serious about meeting someone.
- After a few online conversations, they should be ready to meet you in person.
- Some might not agree with this one, but I would consider compliments on my photo in the first message from them a red flag. Seems to have very strong similarities to a pickup line in a bar. “I love your eyes, they seem to look right through me.” A little to forward and obvious for a first line I think. Don’t get me wrong though, compliments are great once they have met you.
- Stay away from the free sites. These can attract anyone. If someone is married and looking for an ego boost, less likely they will bother paying to lie about themselves.
Whatever path you decide to take to find love, I wish you great success!!
Where is he/she and what are they looking for?
So where do you go to find the single men and women on Vancouver Island? Well, I polled singles in my database just that question. It seems if you are out and about on a Saturday afternoon, the place to go would be any of the following;
Grocery store (my favorite, everyone needs to eat)
Soccer field
Hardware store or Gardening store, depending on your interests
Local Pub Coffee shop
Bookstore (yes, this cliche seems to be true)
Gym Dog Park
Okay, so you are there, but it won’t do you much good unless you keep your head up, and your flirt batteries charged. I suggest you practice smiling at people, so when you see that girl/guy you would love to talk to, a smile will come naturally. With a little sunshine, and fresh spring air to go with that smile, you never know what could happen.
I also asked the question, what are the top 3 things you are looking for in a partner? The top 3 answers for women were Intelligence, Sense of humour, Emotional maturity and the top 3 for men were Intelligence Shared interests and a Sense of humour. Interesting.
What are you waiting for?
Okay, I am guilty. I now have watched at least 5 full episodes of Millionaire Matchmaker. I can see why so many people are hooked on this show. Kinda like why hoarders is so popular. It makes us feel better about having a less than tidy house once in a while. Does it though?
Many times I have asked myself “Why do I waste my time watching this show!!” I think it is for two reasons. One, it makes me feel really good that I have some really awesome clients compared to her. Two, it makes me feel better that I to have run into men (sorry guys, it is mostly you who live in fantasy world when it comes to how hot you are) who still look into a magic mirror before leaving home. But, she is so mean and talks way to much about “the penis” So, last night I swore once again I would never watch that show.
I also have spoken to many Vancouver Island Singles who seem to be “serial online daters”, or have dated one. These are the people who meet other singles through their online profile, but don’t give enough time and patience to that person to really find out if there could be a wonderful long lasting relationship with them. They are always looking at the next profile picture, in case it could be “the one”. How are you supposed to know if they are “the one” if you are constantly looking over your shoulder to see who might be next? Could it be dating ADD?
I am afraid between the reality tv shows dealing with “romance” and the vast oceans of online profiles, have we lost the ability to know a good quality face to face meeting? If your ideal mate was standing in line at Serious Coffee ahead of you, gave you eye contact and a smile, would you know what to say? Seems sometimes singles are practicing flirting through their keyboards mainly and have lost the ability to do it in person. Okay, that might be exaggerating, but it could happen it you don’t get off the computer, shut off the tv, and go meet people face to face. At the very least, you should be in my database, in case a client of mine is looking for someone just like you. You would have to meet them face to face though, not through an online profile. 
Next blog…where are all the interesting singles on Vancouver Island?
Find Love in 2011
If you have resolved to meet someone special in 2011, here are some tips.
Look and feel your best. This is more than just going to the gym. Get out and do something you enjoy. Maybe you used to feel great after a good hike. But, time restraints and other obligations have stopped you from getting out there. You may need to schedule time for yourself to do things that you enjoy and make you feel refreshed, healthy, and happy. Maybe you’ve been needing a haircut, or that new lipstick shade that looks great on you. Spoil yourself a bit, and do something nice for yourself. We are all more attractive when we feel happy, and have a positive attitude.
Change up your routine. Instead of going to that same coffee shop every day, or the regular lunch spot, try somewhere new. You never know who you’ll run into.
Random acts of kindness. These can go along way. For one, you will feel good about yourself. You never know, the girl or guy you let in the line ahead of you could be single.
Of course, you should have already written out your list of your best qualities, and what you are looking for in a partner. This will help keep your heart and mind open to possibilities when they arise.
If you find you are to busy to be in the right place, at the right time, we are here to help. Give us a call for a free consultation and description of our services.
So far, 2011 has started off with exciting news for us!
2011 looks like it is going to be a great year. Island Introductions has a brand new look. (website updates to follow)
Also, we have our first couple to announce their engagement. After 12 months in the Matchmaking business, this is very very exciting for us!!! And, I am so very happy for them. They are both great catches and fabulous people.
It seems the more people have to offer, the harder it is for them to find someone who meets their requirements. I am so happy and fortunate to have the opportunity to help them find someone special to spend their lives with.
What’s next?
Okay, so you’ve made a list of your must have’s and must not have’s in a partner. Now what?
If you live on Vancouver Island you have a few options. You can sign up on an online dating site. You can look your best everytime you leave the house, smile and look around, hoping to strike up a conversation with someone who is also single. Let everyone know in your circle of friends and aquaintances that you are looking. Or, you can hire a personal Matchmaker, right here on Vancouver Island.
What is a Matchmaker? What can we do for you? Thought you’d never ask.
Just as you would hire a realtor to find you your perfect home, a personal trainer to help you find your fabulous body, or a travel agent to find the perfect vacation package, you can hire a Matchmaker to help you find your idea life long partner.
After a year as a professional Matchmaker on Vancouver Island, I am convinced it is a service very much needed here. And my clients are anything but desperate. They are busy, happy, active and interesting. One thing they all have in common is that they have a lot to offer, but are not meeting other singles who have the qualities they are looking for, and they don’t want to settle.
However you choose to search for that perfect partner, have patience and an open heart and mind.
Making a list and checking it twice
This time of year, many people are busy making lists of all kinds. Lists for presents they want, presents to buy still, recipes to get, groceries they need for the assortment of baking they will be doing.
If you are single, and ready to find a lifelong partner, I am going to suggest you make another list. Possibly the most important list you will make this year! What will attract your perfect partner to you? What are the most important things you need in a partner? What are the things you simply cannot have in a partner? You may only have a few things on your list, or you may have many. It is best to make your list before you get “love struck” and your brain releases an irresistible cocktail of chemicals that entice us to fall in love. If you stick to your must haves and must not haves, you could end up saving yourself much heartache in the future. Here is a list of the most common must haves and must not haves that I come across as a matchmaker:
He/She must:
Be active; Enjoy their own interests; Enjoy their work/life; Have a positive outlook; Be fun; Have a good sense of humor; Be financially stable; Have hopes and dreams
He/She must not:
Smoke; Be obese; Poor grooming; Drug use; Couch potatoe; Still harbor resentment toward past relationships
There are many more, but each person’s experiences shapes what they are looking for in a mate. The idea is not to be nit picky, or inflexible, but rather be clear on the things you can tolerate or not tolerate in a relationship.
Next, what do you have to offer your ideal mate? Why will they fall in love with you? This is the hardest part for my clients to answer. We usually just focus on what we are getting, not what we are giving. By first realizing what we bring to the table, we can then hopefully realize whether or not we are asking for to much. To give you an example, here is one client’s list of what they have to offer a great relationship:
I am loving and caring; friendly, welcoming, fun. I never ask for more than I am willing to give. Sensitive to other’s needs. Willing to do the work required to establish and maintain a healthy and fun relationship. I am positive and happy. I am financially responsible. I maintain a good personal/work/life balance. I am open to trying new activities.
Enjoy your time off this holiday season with family and friends, and don’t forget to take time for yourself. If you are fortunate enough to be in a loving relationship, appreciate them and love the one your with!
