Vancouver Island Singles

Is Valentines Day necessary?

Vancouver Island Singles — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 20:50:48 +0000

After my interview with the Times Colonist for a story about Valentines day I have been wondering, is Valentines redundant? Who still celebrates (willingly) Valentines Day?

There are a few ideas of how Valentines day got its start. Neither seem very romantic to me. One is a commemoration of the death or buriel of St. Valentine. Another idea is an effort by the church to Christianize the pagen festival of Lupercalia. Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman God of agriculture. How cupid got involved, I am not sure, I have to do more research.

Either way, Valentines Day seems a bit over the top to me. Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge romantic! I don’t like the idea of my husband buying me roses or chocolates because he feels he has to on this one day though. I prefer the spontaneity of a random gift or flowers, not an expectation based on retailers telling him he has to. I think that is much more romantic. Of course, if you are single, Valentines day can be a good day or a bad day. I think we could really do without this day.

Any thoughts? Do you enjoy Valentines Day? What are your expectations?

Feeling good makes you look even better!

Vancouver Island Singles — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 04:35:47 +0000

Yep, that’s right. It does. After doing some “scouting” today, I was inspired to write a bit about feeling good, even though it is raining like crazy, and gloomy January. First, look on the bright side. We are half way to Summer! Of course, number one is be sure to take some time for yourself, and excercise everyday. Even if it is just a brisk walk. Eat right, and enough to sustain healthy blood sugar levels. Supplements I recommend in general for this time of year (my background is in Nutrition) are Vitamin D, Holy Basil, and an adaptogenic herb like ginseng or rhodiola. Maca is one of my favorites. That is another subject though.

In the meantime, look on the bright side, get some excercise, and feed your body the nutrients it needs and you should be on your way to feeling great again.

Singles Travel

Vancouver Island Singles — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 03:07:02 +0000

Hope everyone is rested and recuperated from the past weeks festivities. Back to work!

I am happy to share some great travel packages for anyone wanting to travel, but no one to take advantage of the ”double occupancy” rates with. These are great for singles. For more info on the following packages, email Adrien at lanka20111@hotmail.com

Club Med Turks & Caicos (Bahamas & Adult Only) All-Inclusive Package Vacation
Victoria return, April 13-21, 2012
*Same sex roomshares subject to availability
$2399 per person/roomshare (including air, all-inclusive land package, return transfers and all taxes)
$2799 per person/single room (including air, all-inclusive land package, return transfers and all taxes)
*Special group invents included.
Deposit required to confirm place.
Other departure cities avail. on request.

March 30- April 6, 2012
Varadero, Cuba
Paradisus Varadero All-Inclusive Resort
Deposit $300 Jan. 10, and balance due Feb. 10.
Price from Victoria $2363per person based on share/$2839 single, including all fees & taxes.

The beach, food and resort are wonderful and it should be since it was the old Club Med! Is still has that feel to it too! The restaurants and pool are fantastic and location is very similar to the Cancun Club Med (meaning at the end with the best beach possible). Even a swim-up bar!!

If anyone is interested please let me know ASAP. If you are needing some sun, relaxation, partying or just sand between your toes…this will be perfect, it has it all! lanka20111@hotmail.com

Marriage: Seven Questions to Consider in Choosing your Ideal Marriage Partner

Vancouver Island Singles — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 01:37:04 +0000

Another great article by Dr. Neill Neill I want to share. Couldn’t be more true!

Marriage: Seven Questions to Consider in Choosing your Ideal Marriage Partner

Dr. Neill Neill

Choosing well is the foundation for a goodmarriage. Yet choosing is one of the most neglected pieces of the process of meeting, bonding, marrying, living life together and possibly having children. Choose well: the good and bad outcomes of your choice will shape your life, whether a first or [tag-tec]second marriage, a Christian marriage, a common-law marriage, a mixed-race marriage or a same-sex marriage.

1. Can you accept each other as you are, warts and all? You can’t change another person and you have absolutely no right to try to change your spouse. At the same time don’t promise to change if your potential partner can’t accept you as you are.

This in no way means that you have to be the same. Acceptance of yourself and each other can accommodate wide differences between you.

Acceptance is the most basic issue. If you can’t accept the reality of each other, walk.

2. Do you like each other? Liking is more basic than loving. Is he or she your ideal ‘best friend?’ If not, consider it a big red flag.

3. Are your values compatible? Are you open and honest with each other about your values? For example, do you both value family? Do you both value commitment and have a common understanding of what commitment is?

4. Are you compatible in the way you express (and discuss) your feelings? There is probably no more disastrous marriage than that between one who openly and easily talks about personal feelings and another who can’t or won’t. The mantra of the latter is “I don’t want to talk about it,” whether it is expressed in words, silence or leaving.

5. Are you compatible in how positively you look at life? An optimistic, positive person and a pessimistic negative person could drive each other crazy. They often do.

6. Are you compatible in your spiritual growth? This is a life-cycle issue, that is, a very long-term issue. People relate to something beyond themselves, and this spiritual inclination becomes more important over the course of life. If you are both growing spiritually over the years, you will experience more fulfillment, even if you have different religious practices.

7. Is your mantra, “Love alone is not enough?” Good! There are lots of men or women you could be in love with, but a tiny fraction of whom you could live with successfully. So remember this principle: don’t fall in love with someone your intuition says you couldn’t build a satisfying and fulfilling life with.

Psychologist Dr. Neill Neill maintains an active practice on Vancouver Island, BC, Canada. He focuses on healthy relationships and life after addictions. He is the author of Living with a Functioning Alcoholic – A Woman’s Survival Guide. http://drneillneill.com http://neillneill.com

Life Experiences—Turn your Past into Simple History

Vancouver Island Singles — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 01:00:15 +0000

I allways enjoy reading Dr. Neill Neill’s articles. Thought I would re post this one as many of us have had past experiences we still dwell on, and which may affect our choices.

The relationship between your past and your present is complex. Your experiences, particularly early life experiences, have affected profoundly who you are today. There is no such being as an a-historical person.

Consider the more recent past, say the last 20 years. Let’s suppose you were diagnosed with cancer 20 years ago and you went through a rigorous and exhausting treatment program of surgery, radiation therapy, chemotherapy, and many follow-up examinations. Through all that you were in the midst of surviving cancer. Then, 15 years ago the doctors declared you “cancer free.” There has been no recurrence.

Undoubtedly, that trauma of cancer 20 years ago has significantly affected your life experiences. It was, after all, a matter of life or death.

Your lifestyle and your attitude towards life are probably different from what they were before the diagnosis. But how do you see yourself now? Do you see yourself as a man or woman living and enjoying life the best way you can? Or do you still see yourself as a cancer survivor as you did 18 years ago?

The way you answer the question about how you see yourself says a lot about your present identity. Ideally your present identity, although shaped by the past, does not contain the past.

And that is why I say past is past. Don’t speak about the past as if it were still present: if you haven’t had a drink in 10 years, don’t say “When I drink…” Instead say “When I used to drink…” It sends the message to your subconscious that what used to prevail is now history.

We all know people whose distant life experiences remain a part of their present identity. I knew a 55-year-old woman whose opening with almost anyone she met included the sentence “I’m a survivor (of childhood sexual abuse).” That’s how she defined herself.

She asked if I could help her to come to terms with her childhood sexual abuse. When I suggested we could turn it into simple history, that is, into a past happening without emotional charge, she replied thoughtfully, “If we did that, who would I be?” The thought of losing that ancient identity was too scary for her and she didn’t proceed.

There are a couple of things to pay attention to if you want your present identity to be healthy and unencumbered by the past, knowing full well, of course, that your identity has been shaped by your past experiences.

The first, as mentioned above, is to notice your language. Do you speak of the past as if were still present, or do you leave the past in the past?

The second thing to notice is a little more complicated. Are there topics you can’t talk about without getting upset? Are there people you avoid because you find yourself getting triggered? Are there events you can’t attend, like a funeral, because they bring up unpleasant stuff you are trying to forget?

If the answer is yes to any of these, then they are holding you back from living fully in the present. My recommendation is to do whatever you need to do to remove the emotional charge from past events and let them be simple history.

It’s doable and it’s freeing.

Vancouver Island Singles — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 20:15:17 +0000

There is now an online dating site for Singles living on Vancouver Island. vancouverislandsingles.ca Great name! I am not a huge fan of online dating sites, as I have heard many many horror stories coming from them! However, there are also many success stories, and lots of attention in the media on them as they battle it out for new members. Seems like online dating is here to stay.

That being said, I am happy that there is now a site dedicated to Vancouver Island. It gives residents of our beautifull island another option when it comes to meeting someone. I hear they will be hosting a variety of events all over the island, so stay tuned for those or go to their site www.vancouverislandsingles.ca and look at the events page. We definitley could use some more fun stuff going on!

If you decide to post a profile online, here are some tips to make the most of it and not waste your time:

If they can’t send you a photo, don’t meet them. They are probably just seeing who’s out there and not that serious about meeting someone.
After a few online conversations, they should be ready to meet you in person.
Some might not agree with this one, but I would consider compliments on my photo in the first message from them a red flag. Seems to have very strong similarities to a pickup line in a bar. “I love your eyes, they seem to look right through me.” A little to forward and obvious for a first line I think. Don’t get me wrong though, compliments are great once they have met you.
Stay away from the free sites. These can attract anyone. If someone is married and looking for an ego boost, less likely they will bother paying to lie about themselves.

Whatever path you decide to take to find love, I wish you great success!!

Where is he/she and what are they looking for?

Vancouver Island Singles — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 20:44:39 +0000

So where do you go to find the single men and women on Vancouver Island? Well, I polled singles in my database just that question. It seems if you are out and about on a Saturday afternoon, the place to go would be any of the following;

Grocery store (my favorite, everyone needs to eat)

Soccer field

Hardware store or Gardening store, depending on your interests

Local Pub Coffee shop

Bookstore (yes, this cliche seems to be true)

Gym Dog Park

Okay, so you are there, but it won’t do you much good unless you keep your head up, and your flirt batteries charged. I suggest you practice smiling at people, so when you see that girl/guy you would love to talk to, a smile will come naturally. With a little sunshine, and fresh spring air to go with that smile, you never know what could happen.

I also asked the question, what are the top 3 things you are looking for in a partner? The top 3 answers for women were Intelligence, Sense of humour, Emotional maturity and the top 3 for men were Intelligence Shared interests and a Sense of humour. Interesting.

What are you waiting for?

Vancouver Island Singles — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 19:47:49 +0000

Okay, I am guilty. I now have watched at least 5 full episodes of Millionaire Matchmaker. I can see why so many people are hooked on this show. Kinda like why hoarders is so popular. It makes us feel better about having a less than tidy house once in a while. Does it though?
Many times I have asked myself “Why do I waste my time watching this show!!” I think it is for two reasons. One, it makes me feel really good that I have some really awesome clients compared to her. Two, it makes me feel better that I to have run into men (sorry guys, it is mostly you who live in fantasy world when it comes to how hot you are) who still look into a magic mirror before leaving home. But, she is so mean and talks way to much about “the penis” So, last night I swore once again I would never watch that show.
I also have spoken to many Vancouver Island Singles who seem to be “serial online daters”, or have dated one. These are the people who meet other singles through their online profile, but don’t give enough time and patience to that person to really find out if there could be a wonderful long lasting relationship with them. They are always looking at the next profile picture, in case it could be “the one”. How are you supposed to know if they are “the one” if you are constantly looking over your shoulder to see who might be next? Could it be dating ADD?
I am afraid between the reality tv shows dealing with “romance” and the vast oceans of online profiles, have we lost the ability to know a good quality face to face meeting? If your ideal mate was standing in line at Serious Coffee ahead of you, gave you eye contact and a smile, would you know what to say? Seems sometimes singles are practicing flirting through their keyboards mainly and have lost the ability to do it in person. Okay, that might be exaggerating, but it could happen it you don’t get off the computer, shut off the tv, and go meet people face to face. At the very least, you should be in my database, in case a client of mine is looking for someone just like you. You would have to meet them face to face though, not through an online profile.
Next blog…where are all the interesting singles on Vancouver Island?

Find Love in 2011

Vancouver Island Singles — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 19:03:31 +0000

If you have resolved to meet someone special in 2011, here are some tips.

Look and feel your best. This is more than just going to the gym. Get out and do something you enjoy. Maybe you used to feel great after a good hike. But, time restraints and other obligations have stopped you from getting out there. You may need to schedule time for yourself to do things that you enjoy and make you feel refreshed, healthy, and happy. Maybe you’ve been needing a haircut, or that new lipstick shade that looks great on you. Spoil yourself a bit, and do something nice for yourself. We are all more attractive when we feel happy, and have a positive attitude.

Change up your routine. Instead of going to that same coffee shop every day, or the regular lunch spot, try somewhere new. You never know who you’ll run into.

Random acts of kindness. These can go along way. For one, you will feel good about yourself. You never know, the girl or guy you let in the line ahead of you could be single.

Of course, you should have already written out your list of your best qualities, and what you are looking for in a partner. This will help keep your heart and mind open to possibilities when they arise.
If you find you are to busy to be in the right place, at the right time, we are here to help. Give us a call for a free consultation and description of our services.

So far, 2011 has started off with exciting news for us!

Vancouver Island Singles — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 19:48:47 +0000

2011 looks like it is going to be a great year. Island Introductions has a brand new look. (website updates to follow)
Also, we have our first couple to announce their engagement. After 12 months in the Matchmaking business, this is very very exciting for us!!! And, I am so very happy for them. They are both great catches and fabulous people.

It seems the more people have to offer, the harder it is for them to find someone who meets their requirements. I am so happy and fortunate to have the opportunity to help them find someone special to spend their lives with.